Very Serious Barista

Yes, it’s that time of year again. The time when I break out a sixer of Sutter Home, spark that new Hawaiian Winds candle I bought from the farmer’s market and turn on ESPN2 for one of my favorite events of the year. Sure, my friends give me a hard time and call me hurtful things like “WNBA fan” and “Unemployed,” but they don’t see the beauty in the women’s game like I do.(admittedly it can be hard to see the beauty sometimes with players like this) I will take nuanced subtlety over ornate extravagance any day. A thunderous jam from Lebron excites me, but a crisp pass from Sue Bird takes me out, asks me how my day was and then offers to split the bill, and in the end isn’t that more fulfilling? So I figured the best way to show my love for the game would be to share my thoughts in the form of live updates during the draft. Hopefully by the end you have a new found appreciation for this lovely forgotten game.

9:33 PM Mon: Sutter Home must have added more alcohol because I slept thru the first 9 picks.

9:45 PM Mon: My roommate burns something cooking, smoke alarm goes off and we are forced outside for 10 minutes.

9:57 PM Mon: Sutter Home has made me hungry, I regretfully eat burnt roommate food.

10:04 PM Mon: Log onto Reddit and look at funny cat memes.

10:44 PM Mon: Good lord, I did that for longer than I intended. Yup, the draft is still on. Let’s check in.

10:52 PM Mon: Minnesota takes Jackie Gemelos in the 3rd round. Strong pick I think. Also, fun fact: Gemelos means twins in Spanish.

10:57 PM Mon: Questionable burnt Gyoza has made its way through my defenses and it’s danger time.

11:22 PM Mon: Man this is a long draft, I didn’t know this many girls knew how to play basketball.

11:31 PM Mon: With the last pick in the draft, New York takes Katelan Redmon. Sure that sounds alright. She looks athletic enough but I still think I could beat her one on one.

11:45 PM Mon: Get the idea to fake my way into the WNBA to make money. Watch Juwanna Mann for inspiration.

Well that about wraps up this edition of the WNBA draft. I saw two picks and I’m really, pretty confident they will do kinda alright and enjoy their life of knee injuries and obscurity. I promise to be back next year with more complete coverage, it’s just hard sometimes you know?

Tags: basketball, nba, sports, wnba, wnba draft, women